How to Have a December to Remember

calenderI know, I know. We just started 2013. However, you know December will be here sooner than you think and you along with the rest of the world, will be wondering what happened to the time. As I get older I am reminded daily of how fast time goes by. It seems like just yesterday I was adjusting to writing 2012 on checks and other documents. Now I am having to adjust to writing 2013. The fact is, as we age, we become more aware of how fast time flies because we know we have less and less of it. Like anything in life, we cherish the sacred, and for most of us, our most prized possession is time. We can never get it back once it has past.

What will you feel like when December arrives? Will you feel like you accomplished what you set out to do or will you feel like you failed? Or will you not care? Most of us are compelled to achieve things in life. It’s the way we were wired. Think about how you felt the last time you mowed the lawn, or in my case, watched someone else mow your lawn. In any case, you felt a sense of accomplishment. Mowing the lawn is a relatively simple task, yet it does wonders for your sense of gratification. Wouldn’t it be great to have that experience in December, only on a much larger scale? Compare mowing the lawn to losing 50 lbs, writing a book, running a marathon, etc…You can imagine the feeling.

How do you want to feel in December? Now is the time to put the wheels in motion.

Below are a few tips for having a December to remember:

  • Create a list of things you want to accomplish this year
  • Create a list of things you need to remove from your life
  • Identify what is preventing you from achieving your goals
  • Put a plan into action broken down with the end in mind

Example:
1. Lose 42 lbs this year
There are 42 weeks left in the year
1 lb per week
2.29 ounces per day-This is a very achievable goal when viewed this way

2.  Read 21 books this year for spiritual and personal growth
Read 1 book every 2 weeks
Read 18 pages per day based on an average book having 250 pages, again, a very achievable goal.

You can do anything you want to do if you will only make a daily choice to do so. We are what stands in the way of achieving our goals.
Remember, you must be W.I.S.E.™ to achieve your goals. It’s What I Sacrifice Everyday.

Question:
What are you going to do to have a December to remember?

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How To End Up On The News?

Watching the news show a segment about someone robbing a bank, taking a hostage or shooting up a school reminds us there is power in our choices. Moments before the crime was committed, they were just another person living life like the rest of us, then they made a choice that affected their life and the lives of countless others. They did something big that would change the course of time forever.

We have that same power to influence the world, but in a positive way of course, without robbing a bank. The only difference is it’s harder because it takes time and discipline. If being featured on a newscast was your goal, you could take two different routes.

You could-

1. Rob a bank and hold a hostage

2. Start a movement to bring about positive change in the world and influence others to do the same.

I want to choose the second option, of course, but how? How do I change my own life much less the lives of those around me? The good news is that finding the answer to that question is easy, but actually implementing the answer is hard.

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This is what I believe are the steps to achieving change in my own life so I can ultimately change the world around me-

  1. Identify what is wrong in your own life (this shouldn’t be too hard. My list is rearing it’s ugly head around every corner. However, there are several things that want to hide.)
  2. Start chipping away at those things (for me, a biggie is being judgmental. So, I need to cut it out at the root. Quit pointing out what is wrong with everyone else.)
  3. Start with a mission in mind. (you can’t just say, “I want to influence others”, or “I want to make the world a better place”. You MUST have a goal to work towards.) Ex. Wanting to bring about awareness in the area of human trafficking and reduce it’s hold on society. THAT is a goal you can work towards.
  4. Follow examples of others. Look to others who have and are achieving greatness and change in life and begin to “do what they do”. Chances are they are doing things “on purpose”.

Question: Do you have a goal? Do you have a mission? What change do you want to bring about in life?
You may not want to necessarily be on the evening news, but the effects of your influence can be endless and impact the lives of countless others.

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How To Get More Done?

secretThis is a question I’ve been asking for many years. The problem with this question is most people never get a definite answer. I recently discovered the answer and realized that literally everyone I knew who was “successful” in life knew it too. It can be wrapped up in one simple step that you can start doing immediately. Hold on to your seat belt, here it comes…Get Up Early!

That’s it. You can stop reading now if you have that mastered. Well, not exactly. There’s so much more to it. The best way for me to explain this is to tell you about my own journey with productivity.

When I was still playing drums for Big Daddy Weave, I, along with most everyone else, would usually go to bed around 1am after a concert and get up the next morning around 9am. When I would come home from the road for the little time I had during the week, I would try and slip into normalcy without skipping a beat. As you can imagine, that didn’t work too well when coming off of a touring musician’s sleep schedule. Trying to do what most “normal” people do was an incredible challenge.

I simply could not beat the sleep monster. So, in my quest to achieve what I knew God was calling me to do, I left the band and began doing what I knew would put the wheels of success in motion. Soon after leaving, I started getting up at 5am. Of course, in order to do this I had to begin going to sleep earlier. I set 10:30pm as my target. This was by far the most difficult part. While on the road, I was often still playing the drums at this time, so this was a huge adjustment.

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Once the alarm goes off at 5am, I immediately make my coffee with our Keurig machine and then set down on the sofa for a 25-30 minute devotion time. That is followed up with 30 minutes of writing of some type, usually blog post or in a journal. You can imagine I am “ready” to start my day once the girls get up at 6am to start their day.

The most important part of my morning ritual, however, begins the night before. I begin winding down around 10:00pm by setting out my coffee cup, laying out my workout clothes, etc… This enables me to not rely on the old excuses of the past. I now have a mindset of being “ready” to have a successful day.
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The greatest change for my family has been the lack of chaos in our morning ritual. There’s no longer the frustration of everyone running around trying to make up for lost time as a result of sleeping late. We actually have time to sit at the kitchen table and eat breakfast, which is something we used to have to rush through, often neglecting its importance.

Here are a few tips to master getting up early:

  • Develop a plan (It won’t happen by accident)
  • Begin the night before. (This is vital)
  • Don’t try and conquer the world overnight (Begin small with the end in mind, knowing you will eventually hit your target) ex. If you usually get up at 6:30 and you’re goal is 5:30, start with getting up 30 minutes early.
  • Remove distractions (Turn off the t.v. and hit the sack) This one step with be key to having victory with your goal.

How does this bring about getting more done?
It offers you clarity. You have a greater chance of getting more done when you are not merely maintaining life, but living it on purpose. By getting up early I feel empowered to tell my day what to do and not be dictated by circumstances.

Question: What other tips do you have that may help others struggling with getting things done? How has getting up early changed your life and your productivity?

Recommended resource: My friend Andy Traub recently wrote a book I highly recommend. It gave me the boost I needed to begin getting up early. Here is the link.

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Is Time Travel Possible?

Time MachineWhat if you could travel back in time? What if you could go back to one day in the past and relive any 24 hour period taking all of the knowledge you currently possess?

Imagine for a moment that day is today. What if 20 years from now you were able to travel back in time and come back to today. How would you want to spend your day? Buying up stock in a company based on future performance is off limits!

Would you treat your spouse differently? Would you love on your kids more? Or would you spend your free time watching another episode of (fill in the blank)?

We so easily forget the value of today and the effect it will have on tomorrow. Think of the savvy investor who sacrificed $100 per month for 40 years and now is reaping the benefits. Think of the spendthrift who squandered away every dime and now has nothing to show for it.

What about the parent who gave their heart and soul to the company only to gain a watch but lost their family in the process? It is so easy to judge them at the end of their life because it’s easy to reflect on the past, but what about predicting the future and preventing the heartache that is bound to come?

Imagine writing a letter and being able to send it to yourself twenty years earlier. What would it contain?

Practice it using 100 words or less. Below is mine:

Jeff-
Spend more time in God’s word, for it is never changing. Spend more time with your family and less time watching t.v.. Cancel cable, NOW! Read more non-fiction. Take more pictures. Start saving more and eat out less. Pray more, write more, keep journaling and memorize more scripture. Give up soda, eat less pizza, work out more and don’t sleep so much. Don’t get a serious girlfriend until after college. Spend more time with your granny. Set goals every year. Write it down = get it done.  Care less about what others think. You will thank me, I promise.

Jeff

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We can implement these changes today. NOW is the time to start, not tomorrow or next week. Don’t waste another day, but begin living the life you want to have. What’s stopping you?

Don’t wait another 20 years.

Question: what would your letter to yourself be? Share it below. 100 words or less.

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How to Stay Married

A few of my “dates” from my past

When I was in elementary school I had a “girlfriend” who I loooooved so much. We went on a date to a movie, with my parents of course, exchanged Christmas presents and felt like we had found “the one”. When I was in middle school I had a few girlfriends as well. We were “going together”. I went to dances and went on “parent accompanied” dates from time to time. What were my parents thinking? When high school came I kicked it up a notch and started going on “solo” dates. I went to numerous dances and thought for sure I had found “the” one I would spend the rest of my life with. In some ways it was the same feeling I had in elementary school, but I didn’t know what real love was because I hadn’t experienced real sacrifice. (The picture on the left is a collection of photos from my 8th grade dance thru my freshman year of college).

Fast forward to today. I’ve been married for almost 12 years. I am “in love” and I know it. Not by my feelings alone but by my actions. When I was in school I thought I knew what real love was but I didn’t have a clue. Everything I knew was about how being in a relationship made me feel. It had very little to do with the other person. Sad to say, but most of my relationships were based on me. I was selfish to say the least.

After being married for more than a decade I have come to understand a little of what marriage is supposed to be. Sacrifice. That’s right, that big 9 letter curse word. It’s not about you, but the other person. After creating an acronym earlier this year, I realize it not only had a lot to do with goals in my personal life but also could be applied to marriage and the other relationships I have. W.I.S.E.™ stands for “What I Sacrifice Everyday” and it helps me remember that a growing relationship requires sacrifice. The goal for marriage is closeness and intimacy, ultimately becoming more like Christ in how we treat each other.  I become one step closer to my goal when I remember to sacrifice my selfishness for the sake of the other person.

The other day I discovered a website that would measure the likelihood of my marriage lasting. Regardless of how crazy it was, I had to give it a try. You can try it at www.lovecalculator.com. You simply enter you and your spouse’s first name and it will tell you whether or not your marriage will make it. Of course it’s only a joke, but I realized in getting my % that so many in life are so far away from the truth of what makes a marriage work.

Addison, Stephanie and Hannah Jones

Addison, Stephanie and Hannah Jones

Why do so many give up on making marriage work? Why do they feel a sense of entitlement in regard to their feelings and what they feel they deserve in life? They don’t realize that marriage is a daily sacrifice in response to the call of God on their lives as husbands and wives to deny their own selfish desires. That is a constant struggle that will never be fully conquered, but only gets better with time.

To answer the question of, “How to stay married?” I think the answer is simple, yet profound.

  • Realize the definition of love in not based solely on a feeling. It is based on a commitment. You must be committed to being committed, and then commit some more.
  • Realize that marriage is not about you. There are many times when you will get what you want out of marriage, but the benefits of marriage are far greater than merely being happy. Focus on the person you and your spouse are becoming as a result of the ups and downs of the relationship.

Remember, we are on a journey. focus on who you are becoming and not who you have been. If you need to re-commit to serving your spouse, do it today. Don’t make a big deal out of it, just do the next thing. Whether it’s taking the trash out, doing the dishes or listening to them tell about their day, just do the next thing that you know you should do. Do it as unto the Lord. Be faithful in the little things and He will bless you in much.

Question: What is one marriage tip you could offer to another couple? Something you may have learned the hard way or just over time, whether it’s 2 years or 50 years of marriage.

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My Interview with Andy Andrews

It was an honor to be the guest on my mentor’s podcast this week. Andy Andrews is a 3 time New York Times best selling author who is, in my opinion the best public speaker alive today. He has served as a huge inspiration for me and my family over the last few years. He, along with author Dan Miller were powerful inspirations in my life in regard to my decision to leave as the drummer for Big Daddy Weave. Click here or the picture to listen to us talk about making the big leap to full time speaker from full time drummer. Listen as Andy shares about the difference in deciding to do something vs. actually doing it.

Below are the notes taken from Andy’s website:

On today’s podcast, professional drummer Jeff Jones, formerly of the band Big Daddy Weave, joins Andy and A.T. to talk about transitioning your life and career.

After reading The Traveler’s Gift and listening to the podcast, Jeff decided it was time to transition from being a drummer to becoming a speaker.

  • He had been the drummer for Big Daddy Weave, touring all over the country and the world, for 13 years.
  • He had been gone about 140 days per year for his family’s entire life.

Jeff came up with the acronym WISE, which has become the crux of his message.

  • It stands for What I Sacrifice Every Day.
  • The acronym embodies the choices you make in order to achieve the results you want in your life.
  • When he was a kid and decided he wanted to play drums for a living, he began making sacrifices every single day in order to achieve that dream.

Andy’s Storms of Perfection series also inspired Jeff to create a custom pair of drumsticks for camouflage company Mossy Oak.

  • The series inspired him to take action.
  • It taught him that almost every successful person started out overcoming adversity.
  • You don’t have to be “special” to be successful.
  • All you have to do is seek wisdom and take action.

To get a FREE eBook from Jeff, go to JeffDrummer.com, enter your email address, and he’ll send it to you!

Were you encouraged or helped by this podcast? Be sure to share this episode with a friend!

Questions for Listeners

  • Have you ever made a major career or life change? We’d love to hear your story!

             o Phone: 1-800-726-ANDY

o E-Mail: InTheLoop@AndyAndrews.com

o Facebook.com/AndyAndrews

o Twitter.com/AndyAndrews

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Are You a Sponge?

piggy back rideYou may have heard the phrase “Soak it Up” and thought you understood what it meant. I thought for the longest time it was referring to taking in what life had to offer and enjoying the moment. It does mean those things, but I am convinced it means so much more. I was reminded of it’s meaning the other day when I took my 5 year old to preschool. My favorite part of the day is around 7:45am when we begin the journey to her classroom. After closing the car door, she looks up to me and says, “Daddy! back ride!”. To that, of course I bend down and say, “Giddy Up!”

After she jumps on my back, I begin the 2 minute trot to her classroom. I do the same thing each time we make the journey. I gallop along and she shouts, “Yee Haw!” It’s a sight to behold for sure. The other day, however, it hit me like a lightning bolt. I won’t have this experience much longer, so I need to soak it up. I need to take in every second of this experience because I will one day look back and long for the back rides of the past.

This experience is not limited to back rides. I’ve noticed the same feeling when swinging my oldest daughter, sitting across the table on a date night with my beautiful wife, talking with my mom on the phone, and the list goes on and on. Any experience you cherish will one day cease. That is the cold reality of life. However, you can temporarily stop time and soak up the moment. This is done on purpose and requires discipline. It does not happen without intention.
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How can you soak up the moment and take advantage of the time you have? Here are a few tips to maximize what you’ve been given:
Make a list of who is important in life. What would you miss the most if they were gone?
Example:
My dad-Working in his workshop.
My mom-talking on the phone about our day.
My daughters-listening to them tell me about their day, etc…
The list is long and ever changing.
The point in doing this is selfish to a certain extent. You know time is fleeting and you want to hold on to it. We will never get to relive the moment. How many times have you gone through your day as a blur only to not remember what you did just moments before? We must remember that we are like a sponge with a limited capacity. We are the ones who choose what we hold. Are we going to fill it with mindless things like the latest episode of __________ or the memories of what matters most?

I want to focus on one phrase: We have the life we choose
Keeping that in mind, think of the parent who reflects on their past by saying to me as I’m giving my daughter a back ride, “Enjoy it while you can, you won’t be doing that when she’s 15”. Their statement is obviously true, but it leads me to a challenge. I want to have a full heart, knowing I’ve soaked it up with the things of life that mattered most. Can we have a full heart, knowing we have done what we could do in order to cherish the moments that matter most in life? I think the answer is yes!

Below are a few tips to help you Soak it Up:

  • Realize the main roadblock to soaking up life is being too busy. Slow down and leave room for moments to arise. They are there, you just have to recognize them.
  • Stop and take time to reflect (look at any situation in life as a potential moment to Soak up).
  • When you find one, (like the back ride) say a word of thanks. This will cause you to recognize the importance this moment has in life and keep you from taking it for granted.

You can’t make time stand still but you can live a life of purpose without the pain of regret. Try these steps and see what happens. You will be thankful for the time you took to reflect on what mattered and those around you will as well.

Don’t forget this great quote from the philosopher Ferris Bueller- “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it”.

A great book recommendation is a free download at www.AndyAndrews.com called “A Perfect Moment”. This book will help you soak it up.

Question: What common event or moment have you noticed in life that you will miss when it’s time passes? Like my back rides, etc…Share your moment in the comment section below, it may inspire others to do the same.

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Can You Be Bought?

I recently spoke to a group of students and asked a question about motivation. Most students value money as much as any adult today due to their desire for things that others have. Peer pressure in school today is staggering. From the style and name brand of their clothing to the kind of car they drive, they are always comparing what they have to what others have around them. So, when I made an offer to give them a $5,000 gift card at the end of the month, their ears perked up. Of course I explained what was involved, but it was obvious that everyone wanted to get in on the action.

In this short clip I expose the truth about motivation and what we value. So many times we have things in life we want to achieve or accomplish, yet we fail time and time again in our quest for victory.

Some are appalled at the thought of getting paid to read the Word or pray, but that is not the point. It doesn’t matter what the action is, it matters only that we suddenly have discipline when money enters the picture. It could be any action in life. Here are just a few that come to mind:

Imagine if you were offered the same deal: $5,000 in exchange for you following through with doing whatever you have struggled with in the past: Losing weight, giving up soda, coffee, etc…, reading the Bible, giving up T.V., getting up early, not staying up too late, and anything else you can think of. We have the ability to do whatever we set our minds to, yet we settle for less. We settle for average.

I suggest trying this exercise: Ask yourself, “Could you conquer what you are struggling with if you received money for it?” Most likely the answer would be yes. If so, then mentally replace the financial reward with the actual rewards you will receive in life.

Example: Trying to give up drinking soda? You could do it for a month if offered $5,000. Now, replace the money with the real rewards: Better health, whiter teeth, more energy, etc… Ultimately, that is worth more than $5,000, but we don’t want to believe it. This time go even bigger. Trying to lose that extra weight? Imagine if you were offered $100,000 to reach your weight goal by Dec. 31st. You could probably do it. If you think you can’t, then up the number to $1,000,000. It’s not about the money or the struggle, it’s about motivation and what we value.

Here are a few tips to shift your thinking:

  • Realize you are human with a will.  Often we don’t allow ourselves to succeed. Be able to visualize yourself on the other side of the struggle. Remember the phrase: If you aim at nothing you will hit it every time.
  • Remind yourself you are capable of making the right choice. So many times we feel there is so much stacked against us we can’t possibly deny ourselves the temptation we so want to give into. We have lived with our current situation for so long, we sometimes feel we have no power to choose otherwise.
  • Success breeds success. Every time you deny yourself the things you used to do you get a small victory. Every time you say no to being lazy, you gain a little more strength. This is momentum at it’s finest.

Question: What struggle would you like to get paid to overcome? Leave a comment below. I would love to hear about your journey. (Mine is getting up at 5am. I still struggle with it, but I am gaining momentum with every victory)

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What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

Are you still asking yourself that question? Well, do you know the answer? I am 39 and I think I finally figured it out. It took me long enough! What about you? Do you still long for the days as a child when you would sit and dream about becoming something great? Someone “important”? Someone who made a difference in the lives of others? The answer came to me when I discovered what was different about being a child. As a child I knew what I was good at based on one thing and one thing only: It was fun.

When you were 7, what made you want to be a fireman, singer, dancer, or an artist? It was fun, right? As an adult, what made you want to be “responsible?” One word: Money. You were told it actually cost money to eat and have shelter, so you needed to do something more “responsible” with your life.

The fact is, we can’t all be firemen, dancers or artist. If that were the case, we would not have cars to ride around in and wouldn’t have cups to drink out of, and certainly wouldn’t have clothes to wear. I’m not suggesting we forsake responsibility for raw passion. I am, however, suggesting we begin to look at what brings us joy in life. How would the world benefit from you if you were able to share your best with it?

I love to talk. I mean, I really love to talk. Everyone who has been around me for any length of time knows I can talk about anything and do it with great passion. Regardless of the subject matter, I feel compelled to give my input. I woke up one day and realized I could be the greatest blessing to those around me if I did what I was created to do: Talk. Imagine that. As a child I was chastised and told to be quiet, and now I am doing it as a career.

My 5 year old will most likely be an entertainer based on her current activity. She is a constant source of entertainment and thrives on attention. She can bring a smile to anyone’s face in a matter of seconds with no regard to their previous mood. I pray I never teach her how to be “responsible” and forsake her gift. Is it possible she could grow up to be the next Lucille Ball or Reba McIntyre or Joan Rivers? Yes, but what are the chances if her passion is traded for being responsible?

I don’t deny the need for being responsible in life. After all, money doesn’t grow on trees, but I would hate to have her grow up, live a life of being “responsible” and look back at age 60 and long for the days of yesterday when she was doing what she was best at: entertaining.

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How can we do a reality check in life to see where we stack up? Below are a few things to think about:

  • If money were no object, what would you do with your time?
  • What brings you the most joy in life?
  • What could you do all day long and not feel tired or drained “mentally”?
  • When you were a kid, what did you want to do? Are you still waiting for that to happen?

Don’t give up your day job just yet. That is not what I am suggesting. I only want you to look at your life and realize one thing: This is it! This is the only shot you get. There will not be any do-overs. Are you like me? Do you want to look back when you are 60 and feel like you added value to those around you by doing what you were created to do? I sure do. I want to give my all and do what only I can do.

Question: Are you doing what you were created to do, or do you feel like that gift has been covered up by other things that have gotten in the way? Share your answer in the comment section below. I would love to hear your answer.

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Put Yourself to the Test

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to get up in the morning when you are going to Disney World? What about the morning of your 10 year anniversary when you have to be at the airport at the crack of dawn on your way to a resort in Hawaii? What about the morning of your big job interview? All of these have one thing in common: value.

It’s amazing the wheel-power we posses to do things we don’t really want to do when we recognize the value in doing it. Why is it easy to get up when going to Disney World? That answer is obvious. You know the day will be filled with magical bliss and memories that will last a lifetime. Job interview? That meeting could change the course of your future unlike almost any other event in your life. We somehow find the strength to get up and make those choices when it affects us in a positive way. So why do we have so much trouble getting up and making the decisions to do the other things in life that matter to us but don’t have the same instant impact as going on vacation, etc…? Example: Getting up at 5am to have a daily devotion or hitting the treadmill for the dreaded 30 minute cardio workout. It’s called entitlement and we all struggle with it. Not in the traditional sense of the word, but in a hidden, more palatable and socially acceptable sense.

We work hard and deserve a break, right? The other night I was on the sofa and should have been wearing a sign that said, “I am tired, lazy and don’t care, so let me watch t.v. and leave me alone”. Not to say we should never take a break, but we often lose sight of what is at stake when we make daily decisions to do the things we do. We are stuck in the “here and now” and forget about the impact our decisions will have on the future. If you knew by getting up an extra hour in the morning you would have a guarantee of adding an extra $5,000 per month to your income, you could easily make that choice. If you knew by hitting the treadmill 3 times per week you were guaranteed to live an additional 15 years, the choice would be easy to make. Why? because of the word “guarantee”.

We all know in life there are few guarantees, so we ignore that option and trade in the “potential” benefit of making the hard choices and instead, settle for the known. I believe the only way we will ever achieve what we want in life is by believing enough in what we are doing to assume it is guaranteed to happen and bring about the results we are looking for. When I get up in the morning I ALWAYS believe it will be the best day I have ever had. Period! Having that mindset allows me to follow my dreams and do the things I know I was created to do. If I believe anything other than that, I am destined to fail and doomed before the day begins.

It is easy to make decisions based on fear. It is also easy to make decisions based on pain. Ex. The doctor tells you, “If you don’t exercise, you will be dead by Friday. Done. Easy decision, right? You will make it happen regardless of the cost. The problem is we ignore the seriousness of our decisions because all we see is the “here and now”. We’ve got to come to grips with the effects of our choices on our future and realize the future is determined by the “here and now”.

Let’s weigh our choices with a new scale this year. Don’t let what has always been determine what will be in the future.

Question:

What is the biggest struggle you face daily? (mine is wanting to sleep too much)

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